Thursday 30 July 2015

值得回憶的事是生活中的詩 給譯林新進周容

值得回憶的事是生活中的詩 答譯林新進周容: 信達雅 重溫

"All that is worth remembering in life is the poetry of it." -- William Hazlitt
 「值得回憶的事是生活中的詩。」 --  威廉 . 赫茲利時 

1. 前言  Preface


上周信壇問題人物 周容,不知天高地厚,有意試闖 譯林,竟敢問道于盲,求上一堂網上翻譯課。(這個小意思嘛,大可拿幾本好書,左湊右拼,照抄可也!)


2. 誠邀  An Invitation


有請諸位譯林高明,不吝賜教,修訂改正如下的網上翻譯課程 (初稿 1.0)。

(在下這廂有禮!請亮劍!嘻嘻!)


3. 翻譯基本法  
The 3 E's in Translation"Exact, Expressive, Elegant"

近代著名學者翻譯家 嚴復 (1854-1921) 倡議的三個翻譯標準:

「信、達、雅」
已成為現代翻譯工作者的不二法門,確是行內無人不知,無人不曉的精簡基本功。
(但是,唉!知易行難矣!嚴復有些譯本也被評為"譯著"而已。)

好,現在重溫一下:

「信」者,求真求實,忠於原作,直言不諱。(不可指鹿為馬,畫蛇添足!)
            Faithful to the original, true to the written words. Call a spade a spade. 

「達」者,富於表達作者原意神韻。(不可無稄兩可,長篇大論!)
            Make known fully and plainly the author's thoughts, intention and meaning.

「雅」者,譯文藻詞得體,文雅優美。

            Elegant in the choice of words and phrases in translation.

此外,「信、達、雅」三要素 之先後排列次序,已經明確指出各自相對之重要性。


4. 譯者本身功架  The Translator's Own Worth


當然,想譯出一篇無比精采,令人讚賞的譯文或譯詩,就要看看譯者的中英文(雙語甚至多語)語文功力,有關體驗,個人治學態度,勤奮度,耐力,人生觀等。學如逆水行舟,不進則退。


5. 一分耕耘一分收穫  As you sow, so shall you reap


一切成果都靠汗水辛勞,耐心鑽研,時間精力來換取,其間沒有捷徑可言。日常可以勤讀翻譯書籍,名家譯作,用批判眼光,多看多思考。然後,自己多譯多練,由淺入深,精益求精,方有進步。

翻譯前,要做好如下功夫:
(1)  清楚明白原文每一句每一字的真正意思和可能含意。文中任何典故當有特別意義。
(2)  了解作者的生平,時代背景,經歷,寫作中的對象,對偶等。

6. 翻譯散文和詩詞的分別 Difference in Translating Prose and Poems

顕而易見,譯詩譯詞譯
要比翻譯散文困難多了!
原因:
(1) 詩本身就是極其精煉的句語,千錘百煉,字字珠璣!又可以有多種解讀!
(2) 在如此嚴謹情況下,「信、達、雅」的標準被迫大幅度提升,更加釋出暗藏其中的「相互矛盾性」!老子說: 「信言不美,言不

本身...「是在翻譯中失掉的東西。」 這句話是美國詩人 羅伯特 . 弗洛斯特 的名言
"Poetry is what is lost in translation."  -- Robert Frost

7. 魚與熊掌 二者不可兼得 Belle infidele vs a Faithful and Beautiful Wife


其實說來,於最高藝術境界,信、達、雅」這三個客觀標準,在實踐上是很難得以共融的,譯者要做出困難痛苦的抉擇,除非你是絕頂高手

翻譯家 許淵沖教授 Prof. Xu Yuanchong (aka 'XYZ') 是 錢鍾書先生 Qian Zhongshu 的高徒。前者曾經如此寫道:


... 翻譯要求忠實,重在求真; 譯詩要求傳情達意,重在求美。無色玻璃般的翻譯求的是真,有色玻璃般的翻譯求的是美。如何解決這個矛盾呢?錢先生認為這是一個兩難的問題,他採取消極的辦法,就是不求有功,但求無過。 我記得朱光潛先生在《詩論》中說過:「『從心所欲,不逾矩』是一切藝術的成熟境界。」我覺得也是譯詩的成熟境界。「不逾矩」是消極的,說是不能違反客觀規律,求的是真;「從心所欲」是積極的,說要發揮主觀能動性,求的是美。結合起來就是說:在不違反求真的條件下,盡量求美,貝多芬甚至說過:為了更美,沒有甚麼規律是不可以打破的。...


許淵沖教授舉出以下例子:

... 香港商務印書館又約我譯《唐宋詞一百首》。詩到李清照的《小重山》,發現有幾句不好懂:
        「春到長門春草青,紅梅些子破,未開勻。
            碧雲籠碾玉成塵,留曉夢, 驚破一甌春。」

注解中說:「碧雲」指茶葉。我想,是不是指清照早晨飲茶,「至茶傾覆懷中,反不得飲而起」呢?沒有把握,又寫信請教錢先生了。得到他11月 25日回信,摘抄如下:
我昨夜自東京歸,於案頭積函中見尊書,急搶先作覆,以免誤譯書期限。李清照詞乃倒裝句,「驚破」指「曉夢」言,非茶傾也。謂晨尚倦臥有餘夢,而婢已以「碾成」之新茶烹進「一甌」,遂驚破殘睡矣。

錢先生的信使我恍然大悟,於是翻譯如後:

   When grass grows green, spring comes to lonely room,
   Mume blossoms bursting into partial bloom.
   From deep red to light shade.
   Green cloudlike tea leaves ground into powder of jade
   With boiling water poured in vernal cup
   From morning dream have woke me up.

譯文還原大致是說:春草青青,春天來到了寂靜的閨房;紅梅已經初開,顏色有深有淺,不太均勻。碧雲般的茶葉碾成了一籠玉屑,用開水一泡,倒入泡春茶用的茶杯 之中,把我從早晨的春夢中驚醒過來了。原文中的「長門」是指「冷宮」,漢武帝把貴妃阿嬌貶入長門宮,從字面上講是冷宮,實際上是說丈夫離家在外,清照一人 獨守閨房,冷靜寂寞,只有夢中能見丈夫,偏偏好夢又給早茶驚醒了。所以譯文不能譯字求真,而要譯意,才能既求真又求美。...

(詳見 "淵沖:憶鍾書師"篇,錢鍾書先生百年誕辰紀念文集
由百齡錢老夫人楊絳批閱,北京中國社會科學院編輯出版。
可看以下連結: hk.apple.nextmedia.com/news/art/20101031/14610698)

8. 過份解讀與恰到好處 Over-Translated vs Just Right

"You cannot step twice into the same river." "No man ever steps in the same river twice". -- Heraclitus 
   「你不可能二次涉水在同一條一模一樣的江河裡。

在下最初中譯是冠以「於同一時空」,這是畫蛇添足於壇友提醒後,就把它刪去。嚴格來說,一模一樣」和「同一條」一起,也有點蛇足味。但是,要解這樣玄妙句語,我想這應是情有可原了。

願與 譯林新進周容 共勉!

Thursday 23 July 2015

老范 一江涉水行復止 入世出世两從容 Into the same river we step and do not step

赫拉克利特斯 語錄:

1. "Into the same river we step and do not step. We exist and we do not exist." -- Heraclitus 

     「一江涉水行復止,  入世出世两從容。」-- 老范中譯 (這確屬絶妙之中譯,功力不夠,未能融匯貫通,不可為之。佩服!佩服!)

    「在一條的江河裡,我們涉水而行,  與此同時,我們也沒有涉水而行。我們存在,但在同一時空,我們並不存在。」-- 羨魚中譯。

2. "You cannot step twice into the same river." 
"No man ever steps in the same river twice." 
-- Heraclitus 

   你不可能二次涉水在一條一模一樣的江河裡。-- 羨魚中譯。

from wikipedia:

Heraclitus of Ephesus (hɛrəˈklaɪtəs;Greek: Ἡράκλειτος ὁ Ἐφέσιος, Hērákleitos ho Ephésios; c. 535 – c. 475 BCE) was a pre-Socratic Greek philosopher, a native of the Greek city Ephesus, Ionia, on the coast of Asia Minor. He was of distinguished parentage. Little is known about his early life and education, but he regarded himself as self-taught and a pioneer of wisdom. From the lonely life he led, and still more from the riddling and allegedly paradoxical nature of his philosophy and his stress upon the needless unconsciousness of humankind, he was called "The Obscure" and the "Weeping Philosopher".

Heraclitus was famous for his insistence on eer-present change in the universe, as stated in the famous saying, "No man ever steps in the same river twice". This position was complemented by his stark commitment to a unity of opposites in the world, stating that "the path up and down are one and the same". Through these doctrines Heraclitus characterized all existing entities by pairs of contrary properties, whereby no entity may ever occupy a single state at a single time. This, along with his cryptic utterance that "all entities come to be in accordance with this Logos" (literally, "word", "reason", or "account") has been the subject of numerous interpretations.

Wednesday 22 July 2015

奔跑的五花肉 炎炎夏日 The Running Pork Bellies Hot, hot Summer days!

奔跑的五花肉  佚名

炎炎夏日,躺在床上,红烧!

铺张凉席,铁板烧!
下了床后,清蒸!
出去一趟,爆炒!
游了个泳,水煮!
回来路上,生煎!
进了家门,回锅!


親們天,39度,明天40度,
大家出门注意要翻边,注意火候,
带上孜然 (1),辣椒粉,千万莫烤糊了。

我们是奔跑的五花肉,我们为自己带盐! 



The Running Pork Bellies
-- by Anon
-- Translated by Frank C Yue

Hot, hot Summer days!

Lying in bed, 
We are grilled (this way)!

Roll out a cool mat,

Teppanyaki that's! 

Get out of bed,

We are steamed (like that)!

Going outside,

Stir fried!

Swimming about,

We are poached!

Returning home,

We are grilled!

Back through the door,
We are fried once more!

My friends (numerous),

Today is 39 degrees Celsius;
Tomorrow, forty will be.
When you are out -- you see --
Remember to turn o'er the side,
Don't overcook,  do keep in mind.
Your spice, pepper -- don't forget;
Ne'er burn your food, important that's.

We are pork bellies running,

Our own liquid salt we're bringing.

 (1) from wikipedia:

孜然(學名:Cuminum cyminum),为伞形科孜然芹属(Cuminum cyminum)1年生或2年生草本植物枯茗的果实。“孜然”音譯自维吾尔语(维吾尔语:زىرە Zire),中国是孜然的主要產地。孜然并不是小茴香。

孜然 是除了胡椒以外的世界第二大调味品,不仅历史悠久,还有很高的药用价值。它主要用于调味、提取香料等,是烧、烤食品常用的上等佐料,口感风味极为独特,富有油性,气味芳香而浓烈。

Monday 13 July 2015

艾蕪 法令規章久失靈 官僚主義已成精 Rules and regulations

法令規章久失靈 艾蕪 (1940-1992)

法令規章久失靈,
官僚主義已成精。
天公倘有分身術,
化成千千鄧小平,
一個機關分一名。


"Rules and regulations are long out of fashion"
-- by Ai Mu
-- Translated by Frank C Yue

Rules and regulations
Are long out of fashion --
Iron-clad Bureaucracy
Has become a Genie mighty!
If Grandpa Heaven 
Had the power of body-splitting,
O Give us seven-times-seven
Millions of Deng Xiaping!
Each government unit inside
One should be assigned.

Saturday 11 July 2015

聽說縣上一大拿 抱著閨女叫老媽 An official in the county, they say

聽說縣上一大拿  無名

聽說縣上一大拿,
抱著閨女叫老媽。
買個大房媽住下,
天天祝壽不回家。

A Funny (or Not-So-Funny!) Poem
-- by Anon 
-- Translated by Frank C Yue 

An official in the county, they say,
Hugging a virgin in arms tight --
Calling her "Mama Mia!" --
Has bought a big house for his Mama dear.
He's wishing her Happy Birthday each day,
So he's not at home ev'ry night. 

Tuesday 7 July 2015

H: I went to Peggy`s Cove, There was an ocean And I almost dove

(Postcard photo by Dale Wilson)
Peggy`s Cove No. 2 (of 2)
-- by H (then a 9-year-old Grade 3 student)
     written on-site** on June 20, 2014.

    I went to Peggy`s Cove,

    There was an ocean and I almost dove.
    Rocks, grass, and flowers,
    It was raining at that hour.
    There were lobsters, too,
    Daddy, Mommy, and I were wet, so were you!    

** (with some assistance by a walking rhyming-dictionary.) 

Peggy`s Cove is a favourite tourist spot: 
a rugged fishing village on the Atlantic Coast of Nova Scotia.

this little poem "survives" because, as a special favour for grandpa, the poet wrote it on a postcard (see above photo) and mailed it from Peggy's Cove back to his residence (while the grandparents were accompanying the family on a 7-day cruise from Quebec City to Boston). 



but O, H's Peggy's Cove Poem No. 1 is somehow "lost"! from memory (and i am not too sure), it's something like:
        
          When I went to Peggy's Cove
        It was rainy and cold.
        The red and white lighthouse was tall,
        And I was so small ...
        Today, it was all mist and rain,
        One sunny day, I'll be back again!  

Not to be outdone, H's 11-year-old brother also wrote some short poems about how the fishermen caught lobsters with their traps (after a show-and-tell talk by our local guide Bruce) etc. and the exciting 2014 FIFA matches, cheering on his favourite team. (but i just can't find the little poems; they are "hiding" somewhere and the parents' priorities are of course different from the grandpa's.) later on, when the kids were asked to write down their poems again for grandpa, they said they had totally forgotten about them! to them, they were just some fun thing to do at the time, no big deal! (sigh! i was hoping to keep an anthology of their childhood poems... is this such an impossible project?)

Sunday 5 July 2015

陸游 山重水復疑無路 柳暗花明又一村

Touring Shan Xi Village
-- by Lu You (1125-1210)
-- excerpt translation by Frank C Yue


    山重水疑無路,
    柳暗花明又一村。

Up comes stream 
upon stream, hill upon hill,
When it appears there is no way ahead,
Beyond shady willows and bright flow'rs still --
Lies another quiet village instead.


the following copied from lo-enote at hkej.com:

【遊山西村】南宋 陸 (1125-1210) 字務觀 號放翁
[作於宋孝宗乾道三年(1167年),當時正罷官閒居在家。]

莫笑農家臘酒渾,豐年留客足雞豚。1
山重水疑無路,柳暗花明又一村。2
簫鼓追隨春社近,衣冠簡樸古風存。3
從今若許閒乘月,拄仗無時夜叩門。4

1 臘酒:臘月釀的酒。
   渾:渾濁。
   足雞豚:意思是備以豐盛菜肴。
2 山重水複:一重重山、一道道水。(有版本為..水復)。
    (現代人喜作山窮水盡…是另一解釋,完全不是本詩意思。)
   又一村:一村莊出現眼前。
3 春社:古代把立春後祭祀土地神的日子叫春社日,為每年二    月中旬。
4 閒乘月:有閒趁月光來的意思。
   拄仗:(有版本為柱仗)
   無時:隨時的意思。

Friday 3 July 2015

萬古刀 六月二十六 圖書室遠足 午飯時間到 壽司慰食欲

小學生暑假日誌  萬古刀 中譯

        六月二十六


        圖書室遠足


        午飯時間到


        壽司慰食欲


        象棋消永晝


        雖勝非名局


        爰為觀影事


        大愛海洋屬


What We Did (so far this Summer)

-- by H  (Grade 4 student) 26th June 2015

On the twenty-sixth of June

We went to the library at Warden and Steeles.

Then, we ate our meals.

We ate sushi at twelve noon.

After, with my brother, we played chess,

I won but it was a big mess!

Then, I watched a movie,

All about the Sea!


[魚兄,與人類未來主人翁一起玩耍,人生至樂也,艷羡中。

頃胡作打醬油一首,聊博一哂。唯恐迷失於「翻譯」之中耳。

(比如二重翻譯後"中-->英-->中"的「飲水思源」會變成「中

國人在水龍頭前靜默三分鐘之類)勿怪。


盛暑之中,疏簾清簟一局棋,的是消暑妙品。順帶一提,若令

孫女、孫兒有用電腦,可下載免費的Arena Chess下棋界面軟

件,內含多種對弈引擎軟件, 非常實用有益,祝棋力猛進。
                                                                                                               -- 萬古刀]

Arena下載地址如次  http://www.playwitharena.com/?Download

thank you v much, `antique broadsword`! 

for me, children and grandchildren are grace from God. 
i am truly blessed and grateful.
my granddaughter is thrilled to know an uncle, a total stranger to her, has taken the trouble of translating 
her little poem into chinese! wow! thanks again! 
(i`ve taken the liberty of adding the title, as above.) 

thanks also for the link to free chess on line. my 
grandson already has his usual link where he plays 
with a live person (with an official rating) so he can 
gauge his own progress.   

Thursday 2 July 2015

H: Animals are nice, but some are mean

"ANIMALS": Acrostic 離合體詩 No. 2 (of 2)
-- by H (then a Third Grader; written in class in 2014)

A -- Animals are nice, but some are mean,
N -- Newts are small, like a bean.
I  --  Igloos are home to polar bears,
M -- Meet them if someone dares.
A  -- Apples are home to little worms,
L  -- Lions sometimes have germs.
S  -- Seals are gray, you see goslings in May.

(well, the last line is written quite imaginatively, virtually two rhyming lines squeezed into one.
on line 3: really?of course i didn`t query the little poet. it`s perhaps her poetic way of saying the p bears had the former occupants for dinner before moving in.)
Acrostic n word puzzle, word arrangement, in which the first or the first and last, letters of the lines make a word or words.  
離合字謎, 離合體詩. 

Wednesday 1 July 2015

H: Clouds are white, as you can see Lovely, like you and me

"CLOUDS": Acrostic 離合體詩 No. 1 (of 2)
-- by H (then a Third Grader; written in class in 2014)

C -- Clouds are white, as you can see,
L -- Lovely, like you and me,
O -- Over the hills, over the seas,
U -- Um ... also over the trees.
D -- Do you know how I know all that?
S  -- Surely you can guess.


Actually the teacher said the students did not have to rhyme their poem. But H did (and that`s why she is an A-student, in fact straight-A student. fair enough).  

The first two lines are quite touching -- pure child-like innocence!
On line 4, her handling of the letter `U` is also commendable.
The whole piece is coherent. the ending is good, leaving the ball in the reader`s court. 
i just came across her school work last year by chance. so glad, i did not miss that... 

Acrostic n word puzzle, word arrangement, in which the first or the first and last, letters of the lines make a word or words.  
離合字謎, 離合體詩.