Tuesday 18 February 2014

After planting, the lotus when I’ll see? 'Take 2' on 試種荷蓮盼一開


below is 夜月星河's fine rendition of the 七月星《七絕‧花池poem :  



May water lilies bloom when planted there?
Swimming gaily, some baby fish appear.
While worrying the leaves may become 
                                                   the fish fodder,
A golden flower under the sun smiles 
                                                 with good cheer !


七絕‧花池 七月星

       試種荷蓮盼一
       雛魚驚現樂游
       正憂葉變魚恩物
       日照金荷笑面


of course, a Chinese quatrain should be similarly translated into an English quatrain -- wherever possible.
my 'take 2' 4-line rendition of the poem follows:


Qī Jué: "28-Character (7-character x 4                                                  lines) Quatrain"
Huā Chí: "Flower Pond"
-- by 七月星 'Seven Moon Star'
-- Translated by Frank C Yue

After planting, the lotus when I’ll see?
Suddenly, gay fish hatchlings just appear.
Tender leaves could be fish fodder, I fear.
Then, in the Sun golden flow’rs smile at me!  

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