九鳥 擺腦搖頭逐字，長嗟短嘆填詞 Swaying my head from side to side

九寄【破陣子】

擺腦搖頭逐字，長嗟短嘆填詞。
雪月風花出妄想，國恨家愁空謬思
上壇偷學師。

韻律平仄非懂，格式對仗存疑。
拾字街頭胡說異，拗句坊間亂叫噫。
乜誰犯賤兒。

TUNE: PO ZHEN ZI: 
             "Crushing the Enemy Formations"
TITLE: "Swaying my head from side to side"
-- by 九鳥 'Nine-Bird' 
-- Translated by Frank C Yue 

Swaying my head from side to side --
The right words I just try to find.
I sigh high, I moan low --
So that fluid verse may flow.
From Nature's snow and moon-light,
The wind soft and flowers bright --
Fanciful thoughts born with delight!
With laments for my country,
Worries at home a-plenty;
How could I ever be free?
It's best to learn from each other
At the forums in Space-Cyber.

For rhyme, rhythm, intonations --
I have alienation.
For form, structure, comparison --
Doubtful is my presentation.
Picking up words from the street,
Strange things I may say or tweet;
Whilst arguing on a sentence
There may not be any substance.
O Mine!
Some conflict-seeking guy! 

only recently i have time to translate Nine-Bird's above ci that was written on april 30 this year in response to my posting the following 辛棄疾 ci:

《破陣子 • 為陳同甫賦壯語以寄》 南宋 • 辛棄疾

醉裏挑燈看劍，夢回吹角連營。
八百里分麾下灸，五十弦翻塞外聲。
沙場點秋兵。　　

馬作的盧飛快，弓如霹靂弦驚。
了卻君王天下事，嬴得生前身後名。
可憐白髮生！

TUNE: PO ZHEN ZI "Crushing the Enemy Formations"
TITLE: "Words of Encouragement sent to Chen Tongfu"
-- by XIN QIJI (1140-1207)
-- Translated by Frank C Yue

Drunk, I brighten up the flame on the lamp
To examine a fine sword with my name;
In m'dream, from garrison to garrison,
The horns a-blowing in unison.
The troopers wolf down their barbequed beef bless'd
With sounds of string music in the wilderness.
Parading my troops I stand (with eagerness).
Our war horses charge forth as if they were flying;
All drawn bows release their arrows like thundering.
Now, fulfilling the Sovereign-granted mission fine --
For prosperity, the great Fame shall be mine.
O! A pitiable white-hair guy!