I know a funny little man 我認識一個有趣的小人

"MISTER NOBODY"
-- ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON (1850-1894)

I know a funny little man,
As quiet as a mouse,
Who does the mischief that is done
In everyone's house!
There's no one ever sees his face,
And yet we all agree
That every plate that we break was cracked
By Mister Nobody.

'Tis he who always tears our books,
Who leaves the door ajar,
He pulls the buttons from our shirts,
And scatters pins afar.
That squeaking door will always squeak
For, prithee don't you see,
We leave the oiling to be done
By Mister Nobody.

He puts damp wood upon the fire,
That kettles cannot boil;
His are the feet that bring in mud,
And all the carpets soil.
The paper are always mislaid,
Who had them last but he?
There's no one tosses them about
By Mister Nobody.

The finger marks on the door
By none of us are made;
we never leave the blinds unclosed
To let the curtains fade;
The inks we never spill, the boots
That lying round you see
Are not our boots -- they all belong
To Mister Nobody.

"沒有人先生"
作者：羅拔 路易斯 史蒂芬遜 (1850-1894)
譯者：羨魚

我認識一個有趣的小人，
像老鼠一樣的沉靜。
在每個人家裡的悪作劇，
是誰的傑作呢?
從沒有人看到他的面貌，
可是，各人異口同聲地說：
我們打破了的每一塊碟子，
都是他的作為！

是他時常撕破了書頁，
譲大門敝開著，
把鈕扣從襯衣上扯掉，
把大頭針撤到地上，無遠不屆。
吱吱聲叫的門軸會繼續吱吱聲叫，
噢，因為 ... 
你不知道嗎? ...
我們讓沒有人先生去塗油！

他把濕柴放在火爐裡，
因此，水煲內的水燒不開了；
他雙腳把泥污帶進屋裡，
把地氈都弄得骯髒不堪！
書信時常都不知所蹤，
他是最後的經手人！
無人會把文件隨手亂扔，
除了沒有人先生！

門上的黑指模
絕不是我們按上去的；
我們從不讓百葉簾打開，
而使布簾被曬到脫色；
我們從不打瀉墨水，那對
隨處亂放的靴子，
都不是我們的，它們全都是
沒有人先生的！